Justin Bieber was released from the hospital yesterday after being viciously attacked by hundreds of cougars. The cougars started the attack by sending their daughters out to catch him. A representative from the hospital where he was treated said he suffered severe bruising on his face from his cheeks being pinched and that they didn’t know until all the lipstick was removed. He will make a full recovery but never wants to be called cute by women over 30 ever again. Similar cases have been reported by lesbians with the Bieber hairstyle.

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